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Last week I watched a sweet movie called Little Secrets on BYU-TV. It was a about a young woman who had a "secret booth" much like other children who have a lemonade stand. Neighborhood children would line up to pay 50 cents, and then unload their secrets--broken dishes, fond wishes, and the like. She would keep their secrets, even putting any physical evidence in a brown bag labeled with their name and locking it in a trunk. Finally, however, the burden of all the secrets, including her own life secret, became too much and she closed up shop (on a side note, this movie would classify as one of those cheesy movies my kids accuse me of liking).
I discovered author Kate Morton in 2011 when I read The Forgotten Garden, which I enjoyed immensely. She has a new novel, The Secret Keeper, that I put on hold at the library a couple of months ago. It became available right before Christmas, which was perfect because I needed a book to cozy up with during the holiday break from regular schedule. Today when I sat down to write about the book I could not remember what the plot was! I don't know if that is because I didn't love the book or because the plot is a secret or maybe I am just getting forgetful. After going to the author site and reading the teaser about the book I remembered it very well.
Laurel, a successful actress, is haunted by a crime she witnessed 50 years ago when she was 16. Her mother, who is on her deathbed, is at the center of the mystery. Laurel decides to embark upon a quest to learn the secrets behind the events that haunt her before her mother dies. I must say I am surprised I did not figure out the real secret hidden in this story long before I did. The clues were all there. The foreshadowing. The hints. The inconsistencies. But, I was looking for a who-dun-it and not a who-is-it. I guess in that way, the author did a great job writing the novel.
Someone close to me has often said she belongs to a family of secrets. I don't really see it that way, but what I have learned is that she is a woman of secrets, secrets that seem to have caused a lot of pain and prevented a life full of growth and joy and compassion. Some secrets are okay...Santa secrets, surprise birthdays, that type of thing. But other secrets are best unburdened, talked about, processed, forgiven, let go. I heard a quote by Lewis B. Smedes at church, "To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." Secrets can imprison us in the past.
The challenge seems to come in knowing who to share secrets with and in figuring out how to keep those hard things from crippling us in so many ways. I have been blessed to have a husband who is more than my sweetheart, he is my friend and confidante, who listens to me, who doesn't criticize or condemn me. I also have several dear friends and close family members I can talk to. And, as I am writing this, the words to a hymn have come to mind:
There is an hour of peace and rest,
Unmarred by earthly care;
'Tis when before the Lord I go,
And kneel in secret prayer.
The straight and narrow way to heav'n,
Where angels bright and fair
Are singing to God's praise, is found
Thru constant secret prayer.
When sailing on life's stormy sea,
'Mid billows of despair,
'Tis solace to my soul to know
God hears my secret prayer.
When thorns are strewn along my path,
And foes my feet ensnare,
My Savior to my aid will come,
If sought in secret prayer.
Chorus:
May my heart be turned to pray,
Pray in secret day by day,
That this boon to mortals giv'n
May unite my soul with heav'n.
(Secret Prayer, text and music by Hans Henry Petersen, 1835-1909)
Prayer is not only something that can be done in secret, it is a time and a place to pour out the secrets of our heart in faith to a loving Heavenly Father and His Son, who can and will carry our burdens. I am stunned at how long this entry has become...about a book for which I could not recall the plot. It is so interesting to me how the process of writing my impressions about a novel has led me to a spiritual insight that will bless my life, and maybe, hopefully, bless yours also. Now that is a good secret!